i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
