watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize