true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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