awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
