Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
