More tranny stories later!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
