i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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