SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
