Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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