im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
