Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
