drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
