the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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