i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
