dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
