Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
