9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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