I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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