Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize