Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just found puke in my bra..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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