No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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