Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
