so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize