You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
