i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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