this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
