never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
