so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
