1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
