This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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