I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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