I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
