yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
