As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
