Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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