I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
