awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize