Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
