my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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