So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
