I love black thongs
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
