Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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