Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize