im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
