seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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