Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize