if you like me you must not know who I am
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
