So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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