you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
