I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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