she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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