those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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