Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
