Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
