Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You are the jesus of drinking
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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