Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
