Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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