What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
