she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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