when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
