THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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