Sponge bath it is.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Enjoy the penises
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
