Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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