Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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