Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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