I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
